Limbo
Hello internet! Just typing a little something to keep everybody who cares in the loop. Figured I was past due waiting for a keyboard. Here I am with my thumbs!
If you do not know by now, my computer has be raptured (this is topical). It was past due to die and I am honestly surprised it lasted as long as it did. The entire bottom case was obliterated to dust— the motherboard has been ass to the wind for over a year now. The screen would only work if I had a pen wedged in the middle of the hinges affectionately titled “the load bearing pen.” She was dying and so she died. RIP. I have spent the past month in webdev jail, it sucks. But I have been working on graphics and other stuff in the meantime, though nothing is ever going to beat live preview vscode. I miss you vscode. I do have a new computer lined up but god knows when the stars can align to receive it. I attempted to code something using Koder on IPhone and it was genuinely an extremely painful process, for rather shitty results. I worship at the feet of those on Neocities running their entire website from their phones. It is not the end of the world, I just really miss this as my creative outlet. We persist as always.
I’m other news I finally had no other excuses and braved the walk to the library. I got a library card and everything!!! This is very exciting for me. It has taken almost a year and a half of personal healing and growth to be able to do this. I am extremely proud of myself and it at least proves that I am capable of doing SOMETHING with enough willpower. I also have been focusing on my health outside of the mental. I have gotten back into my Beat Saber addiction and have been eating normally. My mind feels clearer and my body feels lighter. It’s nice. God knows how long it will last but right now I am enjoying the clarity. I want to start going out more. But I do not want to push myself. I will be going to the library tomorrow to battle in the Ticketmaster War for MCR CITI Field tickets. I want to go to Nashville so badly but I do not drive and I have no friends. So I’ll take what I can get. If I do not survive and walk away empty handed I’m still hanging outside the stadium come August. Trust that. I have been listening to a lot of Nick Drake, and watching movies pretty regularly. I am not doing so badly. Creativity I do feel stunted though. Sigh!!!
Hope everyone has a fine and dandy fall! The next time you see me hopefully I am on a computer. God I hope so.
<3 BEE