Late Night Rambles
This will be my first girthy post. I have insomnia so my first thought was “let me go spit out nonsense on twitter” and then I slapped myself and thought “you literally spent a month making your own place, USE IT.” So here I am using it.
We are 10 days away from a month since I started this whole website shabang. For a second there trying to figure out JavaScript had me thinking maybe I spent two weeks wasting my time and this was yet another dud in the ever growing abyss of hobbies I pick up and put down. But I fought it, I was persistent and while this website will probably never be nearly as accessible as it should be it’s a website and it is turning out how I drew it initially on paper the morning of August 29th, 2024. So! Man that’s something.
I am enjoying the idea that no one really will ever fully immerse themselves in my site. It’s really at the end of the day just for me. It’s kinda like making art just to put it up on the fridge. Every-time I open the fridge I get to see my art, and if someone else opens the fridge… they do too! I don’t think I love coding, I just definitely understand it 500% better than I did a month ago. It is going to be really funny when I finish the final webpage for original plan and it’s coded eons better than the homepage. I have not thought about what my welcome page should be like, or if I even want to join in on the really “social” aspects of having a website (I.e webrings, rss etc etc.). I think I approach most social media as a public diary (not the safest way to go about the internet but we persist)… so I much like the idea of “here I am! If you happen to find me… here’s a gold star!” Then “LOOK AT ME!!!!!!!” I don’t like attention. I get really bad anxiety these day interacting with anything so every-time the number on the counter goes up my blood pressure spikes and I have to reassure myself no one really cares at the end of the day. Me and my brain have an interesting relationship… to say the least.
I recently finished Heretics of Dune. It took me about a month since I cannot code and read at the same time. I don’t know if I will read chapter house anytime soon. I didn’t enjoy Heretics nearly as much as the previous 4. You just can’t follow up a literal WORM GOD with rehashed philosophical arguments and esoteric erotica. It was an awful read. I enjoyed Miles Teg as a character. But MY GOD was the ending RUSHED. The time skip which leaves out all of what the entire book had been building up to.. for seemingly no real reason… yeah Frank I didn’t like that. I think my next read will be Canticle For Leibowitz, I’ve been staring at it on my shelf, begging Heretics to be over so I could finally start it. I only read physical books so finding it in a rare book store for only $10 was the steal of a lifetime.
I’m going to dye my hair tomorrow and use up the rest of my red that I have. And then once that’s faded I’m going black box dye and cutting myself some bangs. I’ve been thinking about doing that for 6! Months! Now and have been too much of a coward to actually do it myself (it’s the trauma probably). But I need to just get over myself and go ahead with it. It’s just hair. It’s not like I don’t have dyed hair already… silly goose.
Okayyyy! It is now 5 AM, I think I’ll try and sleep now once I add this entry to the void. Goodnight moon. Here’s to another month of web design.